Womb Service: Get Ready...Get Set...Here We Go....!!!

It’s 2:00am on February 9, 2013 and, of course, I cannot sleep. I am ecstatic!! I know we are only three weeks pregnant but I never, ever thought we would get another chance to have the Utah Fertility Clinic call and say Kim was carrying our baby again. I think after that we must have taken about 12 pregnancy tests, yes 12 pg tests just to make sure we were pregnant. We received the phone call when we were at work. You should have heard all of us scream for joy!! I think the whole building was wondering what was going on. A few minutes after we found out the good news (I ran into the bathroom) I dropped to my knees and started to pray and thank my heavenly father for giving us another chance. I promised Him I would do everything on my part to bring this baby back home to him!

I heard once that a mother would do anything to get her children here on earth. So, for the last three years that is what I have done, to the point of becoming obsessed with having another baby. So, let me clarify, having another baby is good, becoming obsessed with having another baby is bad.

I contacted LDS family services and we began the grueling process for adoption and filling out all the paper work, back ground checks, physical exams, money, interview after interview, adoption classes, a home study and much much more.

In July of 2011 we finally had completed all of the steps for adoption and now our profile was ready to go public. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. Now it was just a waiting game for someone to pick us…No Pressure or Anything!!! Yikes

Here is where the obsession comes in. The same time that we put our adoption papers in we also had our first appointment with the Utah Fertility Clinic and began our first journey into a whole new world…I like to call it the “ IVF world”.

Shortly after we put our adoption papers in our caseworker said that it could take at lest three years to adopt a child. Ugh, I didn’t like the sound of that and my heart began to sink. However, to my surprise shortly after our papers were in we received a letter from an expected teen mom (about seventeen) in July of 2011. Her name was Shea Lynn and the dad’s name was McKay. She was considering placing her baby girl up for adoption. I was beyond Thrilled. We wrote back and forth to each other many times and then started texting and talking on the phone. About a month from her due date we arranged to meet Shea Lynn and McKay.

As they walked in the room my heart stopped as I saw her cute little round tummy. Right then I had a flashback of when I was last pregnant and delivering our angel, baby Cord, after 27+ hours of intense and excruciation painful labor (because I was internally bleeding the whole time) and then my horrific death experience. Even though having baby Cord killed me, literally, I would do it again in a second if I could.

Oh, how I longed to be pregnant.

How I longed to have a round tummy and be able to feel a blessed child of god kicking in my womb.

I wanted to cry and scream as I touched my empty womb?

“Ahh, no Jessica you are fine, snap out of it, ok, yes, you can do this, pull yourself together”.

And with that I fought back my tears and emotions and started doing what I do best, entertaining Shea Lynn and McKay and asking endless questions about them. I mean, who doesn’t like to talk about themselves, right? Right.

We must have talked for hours with them but finally it was time to go. As they drove away I finally was able to show my emotions and I burst into tears.

“Did she even realize how lucky she is that she is able to get pregnant and have it be healthy”? I just cried and cried and had an overwhelming feeling that we would never see them again. In the end Shea Lynn decided to keep her baby girl. I was heartbroken and very depressed but I could not blame her. I looked at Elyse and thought to myself, “There is no way I could have given Ely up for adoption. I truly admire and think the world of courageous girls that place their babies up for adoption. But, I was still devastated and cried and cried for days on end and felt myself slipping into major depression.

However, and thankfully, the same time as we were talking to Shea Lynn we were also at the Utah Fertility Clinic starting to undergo IVF treatments with my sister Kim.

Why Kim you ask? Well there was just one problem with Jay and I doing IVF…. I had no uterus and I’m pretty sure that is frowned upon when you are trying to get pregnant. So Kim, being the amazing and selfless sister that she is volunteered, Yes you heard me right she happily volunteered to carry our baby in her womb. That right there is the true example of Christ.

On a side note, I can’t talk about Kim without first talking about my oldest sister Angie. Ill talk more about this in an other entry but When I came home from the hospital in 2010 I was basically cut from my clavicle to my pubic bone. I was in excruciating pain. I could not go home because they did not want me to go up and down stairs so I had to go to my mom’s house where Angie and her family were living there as well. Angie was my angel. She cooked for me, and those of you who know me I am a very picky eater, but she would ask me what I wanted and then she would make it just like that. For three months I could not lift anything over 5 yes 5 pounds!! Angie not only cooked for me but also did everything for me. She took care of Elyse and Jace along with her own four children! She did our laundry, cooking, cleaning, driving me here and there (because the doctors said I could not drive for three months) and so much more. She did this for three months without one single complaint. If anybody wants an image of the true meaning of Christ it would be her. I just want you (Angie) to know how much I truly love you. You are my angel!!

In September we found out the best news of all, and that was that Kim my sister, was pregnant with our biological baby. To say we were excited and thrilled would be a great understatement. As we went to the UFC for the six-week ultrasound we were astonished to see two sacs. Kim and I both started screaming with delight as Jay stood there confused. “What does this mean?” Jay asked, Ann Marie, the nurse. And before she could answer him Kim and I both shouted, “We are having twins”. Jay was about to pass out..Lol!

To give a little background at the Utah Fertility Clinic they implanted two embryos with an 80% chance one would take and a 20% chance that we could get twins.

It looked like the odds were finally in our favor. Oh my goodness we are having twins. This is better than good knew this is like a dream come true. It was almost a year to the day that I had died and now we were expecting twins!! After all the (well I’m just going to say it) HELL I went through and now to be expecting twins, my heart was so full. Jay and I were beyond thrilled, humbled, and felt very blessed and thanked our Heavenly Father!

The way it works at the UFC (who are the best fertility clinic in Utah) is 8 days after they implant you they draw your blood to test for the HCG levels and then the 10-day they draw your blood again to see if the HCG levels doubled and if they did that means you are clinically pregnant. Then they do ultrasounds at about six and ten weeks to confirm the pregnancy. Once this is done and the pregnancy looks good they release you to go and see your regular OB/GYN.

It was a sad and happy moment for us. Sad, that we would not see Dr. Foulk or the amazing staff everyday but exciting that we were ready to move on to the next step. Yes, you know us; we had to take pictures of our last day at the clinic. It was definitely a bittersweet moment.

Of course we had to do what we do best....take pictures!!

Kim getting ready for the ultrasound