8-4-13

8-4-13

Dear baby zoey

I got to touch you for the first time today. I didn't want to because I was so scared I was going to break you but the nurse insisted. I was shaking the whole time and you kept hitting mommy’s fingers to "leave you alone". Everyone says how much you remind them of me because we are fighters and survivors.

You are the most beautiful baby. You weighed 2.15 so almost three pounds, which is Amazing. You are on a ventilator to help you breath and every machine possible to keep you alive. Just like your names means=life. Mommy was hooked up to all of those machines too. So I know it isn't fun and you are trying to pull your tubes out just like mommy tried to. I pray with all my heart that you are not in pain and that you will grow properly and not have any bad defects. I'm so in love with you. I keep thinking it’s a dream that you are here but you really are.

Kimmi is amazing. She sacrificed her body and so much more to grow you and give you a body. She loves you so much too and thinks you are the most beautiful baby she has ever seen. You truly are a miracle. You wanted to come at 26 weeks but luckily you gave yourself and us another three weeks to grow. I could go on and on of how proud I am of you. I just want to show you to the world and have and have posted tons of pics of you on fb. Everyone says that you are beautiful and that they are praying for you. I can't believe you were in the sprit world with our savior, Heavenly Father and mother and your brothers and sister. I pray that they will be your guardian angels just like they are for ely and jace. Speaking of Elyse, daddy told her over the phone today that you were born. She started screaming with excitement and quickly told jace "baby zoey is here and she is going to be home tonight"! Daddy smirked at the 5year old comment and said you probably wouldn't come home until daddy's birthday. She happily said "ok:)" and hung up the phone, still screaming with delight. We (daddy, mommy, Elyse, and Jace) have been praying for you and Kimmi every morning afternoon and night and 24/7. They are so excited you are here and they can't wait to see you, but pictures will have to do for a couple of months.

I want you to know what a miracle you are. Mommy died while having baby cord. They had to take mommy’s baby machine out to help save my life. Mommy was so so sad she could not have you herself. However, your amazing aunt Kimmi aka other mommy said that she would grow you in her tummy for mommy since mommy couldn't. She did this with the twins as well but sadly Heavenly Father needed them to come to earth to get their bodies and a few hours later returned back to heaven with baby cord and Peponi. I know you don't remember them now but I know they are watching over their little sister. The love I have for you is beyond any words I could say. My heart is so full I think it grew an extra size since you were born. It is now 8-4-14 12:03 in six in half hours you will be one day old. Your due date was October 17th but you said no way I’m going now and you can't stop be. You are already stubborn and competitive like mommy. Did I mention you are beautiful and you even have dark hair (which will probably go light but I can't stop looking at it or you) I could stare at you all day! I am aching to hold you but I will try and be patient so you can grow. You are so little but to me you are nothing but amazing. I hope one day you will be able to read my letters that I write to you. Your daddy is asleep but if he were awake he would want me to tell you how much he loves you and how truly happy you make him. He is the best daddy. You made the best selection. Lol inside joke. Oh baby Zoey I could go on and on but I think it time to wake up Kimmi (poor thing she is so tired) and pump milk. She is amazing and is waking up every three hours so she can give the nurses her colostrum to feed to you when they start feeding you. Which won't be until tomorrow or Monday.

I love you so much Zoey and will write to you as often as I can. Time to wake up amazing Kimmi. LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL MICIRCLE BABY!!! MWA