My Testimony 8-3-14

My heart is full of gratitude and humility. One year ago today a miracle happened that changed our lives forever. , her name actually meaning "life", was born. Just getting her here was a miracle. Which is a story to long to explain. But she was 29 weeks gestation (three months early) and weighing in at a whopping 2+ pounds. When i was able to see her for the first time she was in an incubator hooked up to every machine possible to keep her alive. My heart sank. i now could understand how my family must have felt when they saw me for the first time (when i died) hooked up, like zoey to every machine possible trying to bring me back.  Zoey was so sick and so tiny. I remember My wedding ring could fit up her arm. 

 Just to take you back a bit zoey was coming at 26 weeks which is considered micro premee. The head of the nicu nurses came in and talked to us about what the chances were if Zoey Would be born now. She began to say the survival rate was 50-60% and 70-80% of her being deaf blind dumb or mentally challenged. I'm pretty sure the color was already gone from my face but now it was covered in tears. I needed my Heavenly Father and saviors help. Within a half an hour our bishop and members from the ward were at the hospital giving us blessings. Before they got there I just kept thinking and pleading to heavenly father over and over again in my mind that I can't loose another one. I can't do another casket. I can't do another funeral. I can't. I will loose it. 

However, when hands of the melchezidik priesthood were placed upon my head an overwhelming peace and strength came to me. I cant remember exactly what the blessing said but i knew it didn't say that zoey was going to live or die. After the blessing I was calm and felt could feel the love of my savor and the holy ghost so strong. It literally felt as if he were holding me. I heard a still small voice in my mind and in my heart.  I knew that if Heavenly Father needed her to go live with him that he would be there for me so that I could do another casket and he would be there (caring me) so that I  could do another funeral. I'm soo grateful she choose to stay and we got to keep her. She is our sunshine after years and years of storms. I'm grateful for my family jay elyse Jace and zoey and our angel boys. I'm grateful for the savior for sacrificing his life so we could live again. In the name of Jesus Christ amen.