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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

8-4-13


8-4-13
Dear baby zoey
I got to touch you for the first time today. I didn't want to because I was so scared I was going to break you but the nurse insisted. I was shaking the whole time and you kept hitting mommy’s fingers to "leave you alone". Everyone says how much you remind them of me because we are fighters and survivors.
You are the most beautiful baby. You weighed 2.15 so almost three pounds, which is Amazing. You are on a ventilator to help you breath and every machine possible to keep you alive. Just like your names means=life. Mommy was hooked up to all of those machines too. So I know it isn't fun and you are trying to pull your tubes out just like mommy tried to. I pray with all my heart that you are not in pain and that you will grow properly and not have any bad defects. I'm so in love with you. I keep thinking it’s a dream that you are here but you really are.
Kimmi is amazing. She sacrificed her body and so much more to grow you and give you a body. She loves you so much too and thinks you are the most beautiful baby she has ever seen. You truly are a miracle. You wanted to come at 26 weeks but luckily you gave yourself and us another three weeks to grow. I could go on and on of how proud I am of you. I just want to show you to the world and have and have posted tons of pics of you on fb. Everyone says that you are beautiful and that they are praying for you. I can't believe you were in the sprit world with our savior, Heavenly Father and mother and your brothers and sister. I pray that they will be your guardian angels just like they are for ely and jace. Speaking of Elyse, daddy told her over the phone today that you were born. She started screaming with excitement and quickly told jace "baby zoey is here and she is going to be home tonight"! Daddy smirked at the 5year old comment and said you probably wouldn't come home until daddy's birthday. She happily said "ok:)" and hung up the phone, still screaming with delight. We (daddy, mommy, Elyse, and Jace) have been praying for you and Kimmi every morning afternoon and night and 24/7. They are so excited you are here and they can't wait to see you, but pictures will have to do for a couple of months.
I want you to know what a miracle you are. Mommy died while having baby cord. They had to take mommy’s baby machine out to help save my life. Mommy was so so sad she could not have you herself. However, your amazing aunt Kimmi aka other mommy said that she would grow you in her tummy for mommy since mommy couldn't. She did this with the twins as well but sadly Heavenly Father needed them to come to earth to get their bodies and a few hours later returned back to heaven with baby cord and Peponi. I know you don't remember them now but I know they are watching over their little sister. The love I have for you is beyond any words I could say. My heart is so full I think it grew an extra size since you were born. It is now 8-4-14 12:03 in six in half hours you will be one day old. Your due date was October 17th but you said no way I’m going now and you can't stop be. You are already stubborn and competitive like mommy. Did I mention you are beautiful and you even have dark hair (which will probably go light but I can't stop looking at it or you) I could stare at you all day! I am aching to hold you but I will try and be patient so you can grow. You are so little but to me you are nothing but amazing. I hope one day you will be able to read my letters that I write to you. Your daddy is asleep but if he were awake he would want me to tell you how much he loves you and how truly happy you make him. He is the best daddy. You made the best selection. Lol inside joke. Oh baby Zoey I could go on and on but I think it time to wake up Kimmi (poor thing she is so tired) and pump milk. She is amazing and is waking up every three hours so she can give the nurses her colostrum to feed to you when they start feeding you. Which won't be until tomorrow or Monday.
I love you so much Zoey and will write to you as often as I can. Time to wake up amazing Kimmi. LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL MICIRCLE BABY!!! MWA





Our Baby Z Doll

Zoey Kimberly Richards
August 3, 2013
6:33 am
2 pounds 15 ounces
15 1/2 inches
29 weeks gestation
11 weeks early
Our Beautiful Feisty Baby Doll



Wednesday, July 31, 2013

29 Weeks!!


July 30, 2013

Unfortunately, with this high-risk pregnancy we have weekly Doctor appointments. In my normal pregnancies I would have been way excited to be able to see my baby every week. But this is different. Every time we go to the hospital I hold my breath, put on my strong face and brace my self for the news.

Today’s visit, however, was one of the best visits we have been to. Kim is still dilated to a 2+ but her cervix feels long. Doctor is less worried about her because she is a bit further along. Yay!!!!!
Every second, minute, hour, day, week that we pass is truly a miracle, since Kim was in full blown labor and about to deliver at 26 weeks. The doctor said if she gets to 34 weeks they wouldn’t even need to do steroid shots. More YAY’s!!!

The doctor said she could go back to light work. Which is great. When I was on bed rest (and anyone that has been on bed/house arrest) and couldn’t drive, I went nuts, and it wasn’t fun at all!! So I cant even imagine how happy Kimmi is that she gets to go out of the house :)!!!!. It feels like she gets to have her freedom back
Kim wants to have her tubes tied after this. I don't blame her. She has been through hell with these pregnancies.
The doctor also said she could drive to the store or short distances.

Ahhh big deep breath. I don't think we have been able to breath all month. This is a great day with even better news. I actually feel tired and pray I can finally get, a much needed, good night sleep.

Thank you everyone for all your prayers and thoughts. I truly believe that's why we have made it this far. Happy Happy day :-)

Much Love

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Preterm Labor


7-11-13

Free Slurpee day Yay

As I got up this morning I received a text from Moo. She was seeing if I wanted to walk/run to Sev for donuts and free Slurpee’s.  Since we had not done our annual walk/run this year, I was like “Heck yes, bring on the fun”. So we got the strollers out and met at the legacy trail and began to run to the seven 11 which is off of redwood and fifth south. Everything was great until we were mid way and Moo’s tire to her stroller popped…..ah nuts. Well, I was determined to get my donut so we had all the kids get out of the strollers and start walking. Moo called her sister to come pick us up. We were about a mile or two away from sev so I just told them that I would meet them there. So I started running and running. I thought it was a lot closer than it was…..it wasn’t. By now I was sprinting (with the stroller, carrying Ely and Jace).  By the time I got to sev, moo and her sister and kiddos where just walking through the door. Yes Victory, I was going to puke from all the sprinting I had just done but then there they were……my donuts and free Slurpee’s, Mission Accomplished. However, I am going to be sooo sore tomorrow.
As we were snarffing our breakfast I just happened to look at my phone and I had received a text from Kim.  It said that she was having pretty painful Braxton hicks and dad was having her lay down.

I jumped up, told moo, put the kids in the stroller and started sprinting back to my house which was about four miles or so away. Luckily moo went and got my car and picked us up about a mile away from home.

I quickly jumped in the shower, got ready, put the kids in the car and off we went to be with Kim. I dropped the kids off at Debbie’s. I went to the office and picked Kim up and headed for the UofU hospital. Everyone was thinking I was just overreacting but I don’t care, (Yes Im going to pull out my death card now). I have died a painful horrible death, lost four babies, buried three of them, lost four adoption’s, suffer from serious PTSD, have panic attacks and depression all in the last two years.  I don’t care if people think I’m crazy or overreacting “we are going to the ER, NOW”.
Thank you have a nice day…..lol

When we got there we immediately went up to the OB ER.  They hooked her up to the baby monitors so they could see her contractions. She was having contractions about every 10 minutes apart. Then they checked Kim and she was dilated to a 1 and a half……ahhh not good. We are only 26 weeks and its way too early for our baby girl to come out.

Of course our amazing doctor, was on a pioneer trek so we just had who ever was on call that day. Then they started an IV and gave her a steroid shot to help develop the lungs. Then the nurse checked her again. She now was dilated to a TWO. We both panicked and asked if we could “undilate”, and they said no.
We  quickly packed up the room and the nurses moved us across the hall to Labor and Delivery. Not a fun place to be when you are only 26 weeks along and everyone else on the floor is having full term, nice healthy, screaming babies. The nurses put us in the room right next to the operating room so that if Kim’s water broke they would be able to quickly move her.

During all of this ciaos, I was texting my family, friends, and everyone to please start praying. They called the temples and put our names on the prayer roll. I kept everyone updated on fb and begged them to please start praying for Kimmi and our baby girl.    

Once in the Labor and Delivery room things got pretty intense. The medical staff started giving Kim all sorts of medications to help her stop the labor and to help develop the baby if she were to come right now.
One of the meds they used was Magnesium sulfate. When babies are born this early the blood vessels in the brain are so sensitive that if the baby were to be born right now they would burst. This medicine (magnesium sulfate) would help strengthen the blood vessels. They told Kim that for the first 30 minutes they were going to give her a very strong dose. The side effects would make her feel nauseous, headache, unable to control her body etc….
Five minutes after it started Kim was not doing so well, to put it nicely. She was going through horrible side effects and thought she was dying, probably wanted to die, asked if they could stop the medication and almost said just get this baby out of me. That is how miserable she was.

This whole time I just wanted to go home jump in bed and scream and cry, but I couldn’t. I had to stay strong for Kim. I had to be there for her. I couldn’t loose it.

As Kim was thinking that she was going to die I knew we needed a blessing, pronto dente. Jay was just leaving court and on his way to the hospital. I called moo to see if Tim could come and give Kim a blessing. I also called the Bishop to see if he could come and give Kim a blessing.  About 10minutes later our Bishop (Jenson), Brother Langlous, and Tim, all in their white shirts and a tie, were able to give Kim and myself a blessing. I am so grateful and forever will be grateful for the power of the priesthood and the power of prayer. After the blessings Kim was able to calm down a bit and so was I.

Finally Jay got there and I felt so relieved to see and have him there.
The on call Doctor came in and explained what was happening and answered any questions that we had. I was just in shock. Thinking to myself that this was just a bad dream, a nightmare, and I would wake up soon. Unfortunately, this was not the case L. When the Dr. was done I had to ask the horrible question, and that was, what is the possibility that our baby will make it? She said that she would have one of the NICU nurses come in and talk to us because they would know better than she would.

When the NICU nurse came in, everyone held their breath and prepared for what she was about to say. She said that babies born this early have about a 50% survival rate with a high percent that it will be deaf, blind, cerebral palsy etc… I wanted to cry and scream but again knew I couldn’t loose it in front of Kim. After that she said mentioned all the machines and operation’s that they would have to do on our precious little girl to help keep her alive. I couldn’t hear it anymore and my body just froze. After she left I was still in shock and felt like I couldn’t move.

Finally around 9:00 my dad came with all the kids. They came and visited Kim for about 5 minutes and then left. I went with them while jay stayed with Kim. I hurried and ran home backed my bags and came back to the hospital to stay with Kim. Jay then took the kids to the New homestead and got the boys some clothes and also Kim’s progesterone suppositories. Then he came back up to the hospital dropped the stuff off and took Ciaran, Cabhan, Elyse and Jace to our townhourse.

Around 11pm another dr. on call, came in and said that Kim was doing great and wanted us to switch rooms (out of labor and delivery). This was great news that Kim was well enough to switch rooms. However, by switching rooms it meant that she would be off the monitors and they would not be watching her as closely. I didn’t like that and begged them to see if we could stay just for the night. The dr. really wanted us to move but said we could stay until 5am. I was so grateful to here that.

At 5 in the morning I packed up the room again and we moved to another area of the hospital. Non of us had received any sleep and we were so tired. So Fridays goal was to sleep and that is what we did.
Finally after five days of being in the hospital Kim was able to go home on house arrest….lol  I say house arrest because she cant go outside, can’t drive a car, can only walk up the stairs three times a day,  etc…….

July 17, 2013
Today we went for our weekly check up with the Doctor.  Kim’s cervix had shortened again and she was having some pain and dilated the same. The Doctor said to lay low. I must say we have the best doctor. We don’t feel like a number or cattle, meaning they just get you in and out. He actually spends time with you and takes our concerns seriously.

July 18, 2013
Kim had sent me a picture of her discharge. It was really thick, long and a weird color (sorry for any guys that are reading this). I thought it might be the mucus plug so I text the picture to the doctor and he said to come to the hospital a.s.a.p.
So back we went to the hospital again. I think they should just have a reserved spot for us since we are up there everyday.
We went back to the OB ER and they hooked up the baby monitors again. Then the doctor came in and checked Kim. With all of that discharge he thought that maybe she had dilated some more. Thankfully she was still the same. Yay, we were so relieved that everything thing was still the same and that we didn’t have to spend another night in the hospital. J Our next doctor apt is July 13, 2013 to check Kim’s cervix again. I pray that we can at least make it to thirty weeks. I wish we could make it to 37 weeks but I’ll take whatever we can get.

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and prayers on our behalf. We are blessed to have so many amazing friends and family. We love you all

Love the Richards







Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Pregnancy update

July 10, 2013

This last week has been so stressful to say the least. When it rains it sure does pour! I think I've lost weight just by worrying so much. I shouldn't worry. I should trust in God and I know, "thy will be done", but that is a lot harder done then said.

Catch up- Last week Kim's cervix was at a 1.8 which is not good at all. She was put on meds and semi bed rest.

Today when we went to the hospital to check her cervix I don't think I stopped praying the whole time. Thank you Bunny for putting that on FB. Im soo grateful for everyones prayers on our behalf.

First they did an ultrasound of the baby. Omg, I don't think I could ever get tired of watching her, even if it is in black and white. I always look for the heart beat first, then the Kidneys, and then her cute little face. She was very active and moving all over, which is music to my ears.

Both Kim and I held our breath as the Tech measured her cervix. The Tech was very quiet as she  took several measurements. (so I thought that this is not going to be good). However, we did not have any time to ask questions because Kim was also having her glucose test today. She had to have her blood drawn at 10:50am and no later than 10:55am, or else she would have to do it again. As we left the ultrasound room it was 10:48am....ahhh. We quickly but cautiously went down starts and made it just in time to take her blood.

After her blood was drawn we went back upstairs to here the results. GOOD NEWS!!! her cervix went from 1.8cm to 2.8cm. I think we both were able to take a deep breath and say many prayers of gratitude. A normal cervix length in pregnancy varies but should be between 3cm-5cm (I think), but we'll take the new increase.
I asked if we were in the clear and the Tech said "No". The doctor will call us tonight and tell us what our game plan is from here.

We will be going in on July 17th to have another ultrasound and to check the cervix. I'm very grateful they are watching her so close this time around.

Thank you, Thank you everyone, again, for all your prayers. We live on them everyday.

Much Love :)

Here is a cute little pic of her face!




Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Another Pregnancy Scare :(

July 3, 2013

Another Pregnancy scare

Just as I was starting to breath a bit about this pregnancy we have another scare.

Today was our 25th week appointment. :)!!

I had canceled this doctor appointment  because unfortunately our insurance had terminated. I guess they frown on being late with  premium payments. Not good.
Btw, of course we had the premium checks sitting on the office counter since May but the tricky thing is, is that you actually have to send them in. Ahhhh  (I'm trying not to freak out here)

Just to give an estimate of every time we have a doc apt it's around 1,000 dollars of which we are responsible for $50 or so.

When I told jay that I had canceled the apt he freaked. If anyone knows Jay he never freaks over anything. He might be known to be a fainter but not a freak-er-outer(I'm pretty sure that's a word)  He said this is a million dollar baby and there is no way we are canceling. Long story short we went and had an ultrasound
And then saw the doctor. I'm so grateful Jay was so demanding.

We thought everything was fine. I love ultrasounds. I could look at her little black and white profile all day. Then after they checked the baby they checked Kim's cervix. It seemed like she took an extra long time measuring her cervix but Im like,"Jessica, you are just being worried over nothing, everything is fine".

Well, when the doctor came in he said there was a concern. My heart sunk. I guess they like to have the length of the cervix to be a 2.5 or higher. Kim was barley at a 1.8. Which meant her cervix is shortening which is not good unless she is ready to have the baby, Which we definitely are not!!;(

She has had a very stressful, hard and depressing week. The doctor prescribed some medications that could possibly help (we pray it does).
We asked if she could have a cerclage. The doctor said that they really don't do a cerclage after 24 weeks.

Through my tears I'm trying to stay positive (which is a little, lottel, hard to do considering our past).

Game plan:
weekly visits to check cervix. Hopefully cervix will thicken or lengthen.

If not then bed rest and then we will have to figure out another game plan number 2

Please pray that all may go well and that we may accept Gods will.

Love

The Richards ;)

Sunday, June 16, 2013

22 weeks pregnant!

June 12, 2013

Quick pg update

Today we had an ultrasound at the UofU at 10:00am. This ultrasound was to check Kim's cervix to see if she needed a cerclage. Those of you who don't know what a cerclage is, it is a procedure to sew up the cervix so that the baby doesn't come out. Kim had this done after she gave birth to Kimball so that McKay wouldn't slip out and so that he could have a chance at living, which sadly didn't work.

So, this time around, we are keeping a close eye on her cervix to make sure it is not dilating or opening to early.

As the Tech came in she first did an ultrasound of the baby to make sure everything was still ok and that the baby was still growing great. She had her knees up by her head the whole time. She is quite the acrobat. Every time I see her on the screen I get a little teary eyed. She is so beautiful, even in black and white. She has the cutest little button nose that I can't wait to kiss when she is born.
Then they checked Kim's cervix to see if she needed a cerclage and as of right now she doesn't.......so Yay we are so grateful for this news.

Then we drove down the street 10 feet to Primary Children's Hospital. Poor little Jace had to get his tonsils, anodes, and umbilical hernia removed. We checked in at 11:00am and surgery was scheduled for 12:50. Sadly they had a code blue called and Jace didn't go back for surgery until 4:00 o'clock. Which meant Jace had been without food and water all day :(.

However, having code blue called on me a few, ok a lot of times, when I died, I didn't mind waiting as long as code blue wasn't called on us.
Finally, at 6:00pm I was able to go back and see him. It was sooo sad. Jace was in a lot of pain and throwing up blood. He was not doing well and we almost had to stay the night. Luckily, around 10:00ish the nurse felt that Jace was well enough to go home. Yay, so after all day of being at the hospital we were able to go home.

These last few days Jace has been so sick and has thrown up everyday. We have to force him to take his pain medicine which he usually spits out all over us. grrrrrrr. He won't eat anything, not even ice cream, and is just skin and bones. His clothes don't even fit him. I feel so bad for him :(

June 16, 2013

Today is Father's Day, so happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads out there. I know I'm biased but Jay is the best father any child could ask for. I always say he is a better father than I am mother. He is so patient and loves to play and read to Elyse and Jace. He has been up with me, these last few days, every three hours to give Jace his medicine. Thankfully Jace has not thrown up today and hopefully is on the up and up.

Thank you for all of you that continue to pray and fast for our baby girl. We are so grateful and blessed to have such great family and friends!!

Love,

The Richards :)

Photos to come......

PS- Kim you are amazing and so selfless. I can't thank you enough for carrying our baby girl. We love you very much!!